It's been a long day and repeat...

Last night, I was at Walmart until 1:30 a.m. trying to find luau decorations for our college ministry's end of the year party for next week. Just for further reference...they have NONE.  So I bought the weekly box of diapers and few other items and headed home.  However my mind would not turn off so I was emailing and trying to figure out this blog until 3:30.  Then at 6:00 my Blakers runs into our bathroom and yells for me...use your imagination for what followed.

That 2 1/2 hours of rest was amazing and refreshing;).  For the next 6 hours Blake was very sick every 20-30 minutes.  I played nurse and janitor during this time and then my 3 little sleeping beauties woke up around 9:00(I let them sleep as long as they would because I wasn't sure if I was dealing with a virus).

Around noon Blake started feeling better, his appetite returned and he started bouncing around.   This is the fourth episode in the last month of the exact same symptoms so I called the doctor.

Aaron was pretty worried so he came home early to go with me to the appointment.  My mother in law came to sit with Alex & our 3 napping babies while we went to see what was going on with our boy.  The doctor was examining Blake and you could see the pain on his face when he touched the tender spot...that broke my heart.  Then he told us that early when he was vomiting he felt like that place was going to "pump out of his belly" and that it made his "hearbeep" fast.  Poor guy:(

So at 7:30 in the morning we will be at Children's Hospital for a CT of his abdomen.  Our doctor suspects appendicitis but he said this test will help rule out some others things also.  Pray for our little guy, he is a bit nervous about the test.

On a good note, Aaron and I had a date night planned before all the vomit drama.  Once we found out he wasn't contagious and that he was feeling just fine, our sweet Mali came over after 6:00 tonight to give us a break.  It was a pretty spectacular date that consisted of:  Dollar Tree, Kohl's, and Sonic.

I learned a few things:

1.  Dollar Tree is the Luau supply store of America...not Walmart.

2.  My husband has awesome taste in picking out clothes for me...love me some Kohl's coupons.

3.  Sonic's milkshakes are half price after 8:00pm.

4.  I am an easy date.

Well I am going to wrap this up...I hear a Pickle crying in the other room.  Good night all!

Pray for our boy...we need answers.

Sick Blakers

I am writing today to ask for prayer for my Blake.  He woke up sick at 6:00 am this morning and is just now experiencing some relief.  I normally wouldn't think too much of it but this is his 4th time with what we thought was a "stomach virus" in less than a month.  He is so sick for a few hours in the early morning and by noon he is usually back to his active, hungry self.  And no one else ever gets it...and with a family of 7 we are bound to share the love.  So now we wait for a doctor's appointment to see what is going on with our little man:(

I promise I will eventually share some of our fun stories and comments from our kiddos...sorry to be a Debbie Downer;)

The last week I have been in a weird place.  

We are in the last 30 days before our "Mini Pumpkin" becomes a Gadd forever.  And while I am so excited for this event...I am feeling the impending loss of our middle baby girl.  

So many have meant well by saying you have such a great thing to look forward to so it must help with the pain of loosing her.  But you can't replace a child with another child.  I was feeling so guilty but my dear friend and foster parent mentor explained to me:  "You have to grieve this loss."  Don't get me wrong, I will not let it steal my joy but I need to feel the pain and grieve loosing a memeber of our family.

There is just no words to describe how it feels to say goodbye to a baby you have loved as your own since they are 3 days old.  I find myself not talking about it because sometimes it doesn't feel real...other days the reality of it takes my breath away.  

Last Tuesday was our Sweet Pea's first unsupervised visit.  It was the first time in 16 months she had ever been alone with her birth parents, let alone ride in a car with them.  As I passed her off I saw how excited they both were to have their daughter all to themselves.  I was smiling and sent her on her way and then as I drove off I felt like my chest was caving.  As a parent you do everything you can to protect your children and that is what I have been doing for her  for the the past year and a half but on this Tuesday morning I was suppose to just let my guard down and send her on her way for 6 hours(she's never seen them more than 2 hours at a time before now).

I find myself questioning why is this happening?  What if everyone would have just done their jobs?  Can I really trust these people with "my" baby?  Will she be ok?  Will she remember me?  Why have I put our family through this?

And I know all the "right" answers but my heart is breaking and I am grieving.  Please pray for this transition.

It's worth a try...

I have been throwing around the idea for a while about blogging.  The decision was finally made when I decided to get rid of some social media in my life.  First went the Twitter account.  I mainly had it to keep up with the college students that we work with at church.  And in a few days I will say good bye to the Ole' Faithful...Facebook.  
I love keeping my friends and family(especially those out of town) updated on our family's happenings and I love doing the same for them.  However, I have come to realize that I am a bit obsessive compulsive and I check it way too much a day.  And when I don't check it and I miss seeing important posts.  And then others think I have ignored information about their lives when I don't acknowledge it.  So aside from my OCD issues FB has become an obligation.  And honestly I have 5 incredible "obligations" needing me everyday.  I know not everyone wants to read my thoughts, see cute pictures of the Gaddlings, or hear about the events of our life but for those who do...this would be the blog for you:)  
I still want to keep in touch and hear what is going on in other's life but I have email, texting, and phone calls for that.  So PLEASE PLEASE use that to keep me in the loop.  I just know my oldest turns 10 in less than 4 months and my babies aren't so baby-ish anymore so it is time to live in reality not through Facebook.  I hope this blog can share some of our reality but not eat up so much of my time like Ole' Faithful.
So it's worth a try...
Disclaimer:  Please don't judge my grammar or spelling:)