Well here I am months later.  Maybe blogging isn't for me...sounded like a great idea but I just get sidetracked and get overwhelmed on all there is to catch people up on.  So I will attempt to hit the high...and low points of the last few months.

In May:
Alex finished his 3rd grade year...proud of him as ever!  He won a reading award and really did great on his TCAPS.  We are still trying to figure out where the brains come from;)

Blake (after MANY, MANY tests and appointments with a GI specialists and neurologist) was diagnosed with cylic vomiting syndrome brought on by migraines.  Most likely stress induced.  He is on a medicine nightly that has controlled his spells.  He had a few more spells after my last blog entry that were pretty scary.  But we are so thankful for a diagnosis and medicine that works.  Blake also graduated his PreK program.  He was very emotional about this because he has been with the same kiddos since he was 2 years old.
Logan her 2nd birthday with a combined party with her little sister at the end of the month.  Logan chose to have a Veggie Tales party.  She danced and played in our backyard with friends and family.  It's an awesome thing to witness her develop and grow and to think that God chose her for us.  We are humbled and thankful.
Our Sweet Pea continued having day visits with her birth parents.  We actually invited them to share a Memorial Day picnic with us in the mountains.  It was good for Sweet Pea to see her two sets of parents loving on each other.
Minnie-Our little bitty pumpkin turned 1 back in May.  She is still is so tiny and most people think she is much younger but her spunk and personality say otherwise.  She celebrated with a Minnie Mouse 1st birthday party.  She loved the cake and was a pretty low maintenance party animal.

The family really enjoyed two camping trips to Townsend during the month of May.  The first was Mother's Day weekend.  Our campsite was so cute with Aaron surprising me with a HUGE balloon and hydrangea(my fave) on our picnic table.  Aaron's family came up Saturday night and we celebrated together.  The second weekend was for Memorial Day so we got to spend lots of time with friends and family eating, swimming, and playing.  Camping has really been a great escape for our family and we hope to continue with this tradition.

In June:
Alex started daycamp at our church going every Tuesday through out the summer.  He also went away for 5 days for the first time to church camp.  He went to CentriKid in Asheville, NC.  He loved the experience and we can't wait for him to go next year.
Blake struggled with big brother being gone to camp.  He cried in the church parking lot and it broke our heart.  Although these two boys fight an incredible amount...they sure do love each other.
The Girls continued with all their weekly therapies.  Some of you don't know but each girl at one point was in OT, PT, Speech/Feeding therapy, and developmental therapy once a week.  It made for a hectic summer.  Sweet Pea started having overnight visits with her birth family back in June.

Aaron was surprised with a ticket to take his Logan to their first Daddy/Daughter Dance.  It was the sweetest thing seeing a tiny girl be swept up by her daddy who is completely in love with her.  The family celebrated Father's Day with Sweet Pea's family at our church followed by lunch with them.  It meant alot to all of us to share this time together.  It also made me realize how blessed I am to have a husband who was willing to share his day with "his" little girl's other daddy.  After we invited them to church that one Sunday they have pretty much came every week even when we have been out of town.  God is pretty awesome that way.

In July:
Alex got to stand next to his sweet friend Carter while she was baptised on our church's property.  It was a beautiful moment.  Our children's ministry asked Alex to be with her because he had helped lead her to Jesus.  I hope he will always share his faith...I could not have been more emotional or proud seeing that moment.

Blake got to attend his first day camp at my Dad's church.  It was great experience but he was exhausted by the end of the week.  Blake loves the social scene and sports:)

Our family took another camping trip to Townsend and stayed right on the river.  The first night we arrived we got stuck in a severe storm...pretty scary.  We had no power for over 24 hours but we made it an adventure.  The rest of the weekend was an awesome time with friends and family.  We played in the river with a copperhead and watched fireworks.
In the middle of July our Sweet Pea went home to live with her birth parents.  When I dropped her off she gave me a kiss and hug and said "Bye, Bye Momma".  The hardest thing my heart has ever done.  Hands down.  I don't think I have ever mourned like this.  I still mourn my mom after 20 years but it is different.  I know my Sweet Pea is still alive and doing great...I just can't explain to anyone the depths of my grief loosing her as my daughter.  Writing this over a month later still makes me cry as I type.  I love her with all my heart and our family is still adjusting to her not being here.  She left us the day before we went on vacation so while we were gone our friends came over and took down her crib and rearranged our nursery.  However, 10 days later we got a call for us to pick up Sweet Pea for one night.  It's a very detailed, long story but it was so incredibly painful to bring her home and give her up again.
God is not a God of confusion...I know that for sure.  I feel He needed me still in the picture for details I can not discuss.  But prayers for the future of their family is much appreciated.
Our vacation to Dauphin Island, AL was great.  We went with Aaron's family to the most beautiful home right on the water.  Aaron and I even got a day date in Gulf Shores...we laughed so much that day.  It was needed.

This Month:
Alex started 4th grade and turned 10.  I know...I have a 10 year old.  I am old.  He loves school but I miss his help around here:)  For his birthday he wanted to...you guessed it... camp.  So we went last weekend to Cove Lake State Park.  It was a perfect weekend and we had his presents and cake and ice cream up there.  Low key but nice.
Blake  started Kindergarten last week.  This week learned he has been place in AARON's kindergarten teacher's class.  He was uncertain about starting school for a while but couldn't have been more excited his first day.  I thought I wouldn't cry...but I did the moment he walked off.  He has been my right hand man during Aaron's cancer and the fostering experience.  He is a one of a kind little boy and I never want him to loose his individuality.  We have been having Mommy/Blake dates while his brother and sisters are at school while he is on the staggered schedule.  Monday we went to the zoo...tomorrow Dollywood.  I have thoroughly enjoyed these times.  He starts full time Tuesday...my heart is heavy.
Logan started her second year of Mother's Day out.  She is doing beautifully.  She walks in like she owns the place and doesn't even notice she is half the size of most of the kids in her class.  Her speech is really taking off and I love hearing her little voice.
Minnie started her first year of Mother's Day out.  She is already spoiled by her sweet teacher but taking a little time to transition into being a big girl.  She isn't walking yet but has started standing...this baby girl has overcome so much in such a short amount of time.  I think she will be caught up before we know it.  And truth be known...I kind of like her still being a "baby".  I HOPE to be announcing her adoption VERY soon and telling you her real name:)

With all four kiddos in school on Mondays and Fridays I am planning on spending one day at the boys school volunteering and eating lunch with them.  The other day I have doctor's appointments I have put off, I have friend's I have neglected, and I have sleep I need to catch up on;)  I am not sure how to handle this "extra" time but I am willing to figure it out.  Aaron and I are still really enjoying working with the college ministry at our church.  Last night we had around 18 in attendance...this is really great for the size church we go to.  We adore this group of young people and know without a doubt God called us to this ministry.

Well there you have it.  I suppose I will update again in the late fall;)  Hope you all are well and thanks for reading my reality:)

It's been a long day and repeat...

Last night, I was at Walmart until 1:30 a.m. trying to find luau decorations for our college ministry's end of the year party for next week. Just for further reference...they have NONE.  So I bought the weekly box of diapers and few other items and headed home.  However my mind would not turn off so I was emailing and trying to figure out this blog until 3:30.  Then at 6:00 my Blakers runs into our bathroom and yells for me...use your imagination for what followed.

That 2 1/2 hours of rest was amazing and refreshing;).  For the next 6 hours Blake was very sick every 20-30 minutes.  I played nurse and janitor during this time and then my 3 little sleeping beauties woke up around 9:00(I let them sleep as long as they would because I wasn't sure if I was dealing with a virus).

Around noon Blake started feeling better, his appetite returned and he started bouncing around.   This is the fourth episode in the last month of the exact same symptoms so I called the doctor.

Aaron was pretty worried so he came home early to go with me to the appointment.  My mother in law came to sit with Alex & our 3 napping babies while we went to see what was going on with our boy.  The doctor was examining Blake and you could see the pain on his face when he touched the tender spot...that broke my heart.  Then he told us that early when he was vomiting he felt like that place was going to "pump out of his belly" and that it made his "hearbeep" fast.  Poor guy:(

So at 7:30 in the morning we will be at Children's Hospital for a CT of his abdomen.  Our doctor suspects appendicitis but he said this test will help rule out some others things also.  Pray for our little guy, he is a bit nervous about the test.

On a good note, Aaron and I had a date night planned before all the vomit drama.  Once we found out he wasn't contagious and that he was feeling just fine, our sweet Mali came over after 6:00 tonight to give us a break.  It was a pretty spectacular date that consisted of:  Dollar Tree, Kohl's, and Sonic.

I learned a few things:

1.  Dollar Tree is the Luau supply store of America...not Walmart.

2.  My husband has awesome taste in picking out clothes for me...love me some Kohl's coupons.

3.  Sonic's milkshakes are half price after 8:00pm.

4.  I am an easy date.

Well I am going to wrap this up...I hear a Pickle crying in the other room.  Good night all!

Pray for our boy...we need answers.

Sick Blakers

I am writing today to ask for prayer for my Blake.  He woke up sick at 6:00 am this morning and is just now experiencing some relief.  I normally wouldn't think too much of it but this is his 4th time with what we thought was a "stomach virus" in less than a month.  He is so sick for a few hours in the early morning and by noon he is usually back to his active, hungry self.  And no one else ever gets it...and with a family of 7 we are bound to share the love.  So now we wait for a doctor's appointment to see what is going on with our little man:(

I promise I will eventually share some of our fun stories and comments from our kiddos...sorry to be a Debbie Downer;)

The last week I have been in a weird place.  

We are in the last 30 days before our "Mini Pumpkin" becomes a Gadd forever.  And while I am so excited for this event...I am feeling the impending loss of our middle baby girl.  

So many have meant well by saying you have such a great thing to look forward to so it must help with the pain of loosing her.  But you can't replace a child with another child.  I was feeling so guilty but my dear friend and foster parent mentor explained to me:  "You have to grieve this loss."  Don't get me wrong, I will not let it steal my joy but I need to feel the pain and grieve loosing a memeber of our family.

There is just no words to describe how it feels to say goodbye to a baby you have loved as your own since they are 3 days old.  I find myself not talking about it because sometimes it doesn't feel real...other days the reality of it takes my breath away.  

Last Tuesday was our Sweet Pea's first unsupervised visit.  It was the first time in 16 months she had ever been alone with her birth parents, let alone ride in a car with them.  As I passed her off I saw how excited they both were to have their daughter all to themselves.  I was smiling and sent her on her way and then as I drove off I felt like my chest was caving.  As a parent you do everything you can to protect your children and that is what I have been doing for her  for the the past year and a half but on this Tuesday morning I was suppose to just let my guard down and send her on her way for 6 hours(she's never seen them more than 2 hours at a time before now).

I find myself questioning why is this happening?  What if everyone would have just done their jobs?  Can I really trust these people with "my" baby?  Will she be ok?  Will she remember me?  Why have I put our family through this?

And I know all the "right" answers but my heart is breaking and I am grieving.  Please pray for this transition.

It's worth a try...

I have been throwing around the idea for a while about blogging.  The decision was finally made when I decided to get rid of some social media in my life.  First went the Twitter account.  I mainly had it to keep up with the college students that we work with at church.  And in a few days I will say good bye to the Ole' Faithful...Facebook.  
I love keeping my friends and family(especially those out of town) updated on our family's happenings and I love doing the same for them.  However, I have come to realize that I am a bit obsessive compulsive and I check it way too much a day.  And when I don't check it and I miss seeing important posts.  And then others think I have ignored information about their lives when I don't acknowledge it.  So aside from my OCD issues FB has become an obligation.  And honestly I have 5 incredible "obligations" needing me everyday.  I know not everyone wants to read my thoughts, see cute pictures of the Gaddlings, or hear about the events of our life but for those who do...this would be the blog for you:)  
I still want to keep in touch and hear what is going on in other's life but I have email, texting, and phone calls for that.  So PLEASE PLEASE use that to keep me in the loop.  I just know my oldest turns 10 in less than 4 months and my babies aren't so baby-ish anymore so it is time to live in reality not through Facebook.  I hope this blog can share some of our reality but not eat up so much of my time like Ole' Faithful.
So it's worth a try...
Disclaimer:  Please don't judge my grammar or spelling:)